suddenly my choice is clear
by maddieclaybourne
Summary: it's how he always knows when she needs special cocoa from belgium. tori/andre


_Author's Note: This references the two almost kisses that happened between Tori and Beck in the hour long special episode "Tori Goes Platinum."_

**suddenly my choice is clear **

**tori vega/andre` harris**

_**well I don't need all the finer things, diamond rings and nothing**_

_**show me something**_

_**cause love is all i need, all i ever wanted**_

_**and now I got it**_

"_**finally falling" - victoria justice featuring avan jogia**_

Everyone's finally calmed down and stopped hugging her, so she can, you know, _breathe_.

But it's not like it really matters cause Tori doesn't think she'll ever regain the breath performing on the _Platinum Music Awards_ stole from her, and [honestly] she never wants to, anyway. She wants to be stuck like this forever; never letting go of the post performance high, just to keep chasing it, no matter how high she has to jump.

However, she didn't expect it – the high – to come crashing down so brutally.

In an instant, it's just gone, like it was never real in the first place, like she could _never, ever_ catch it again no matter how high she jumped because she watches as Beck and Jade steal a glance, and _it's_ there, _that look_ they have; how Beck's _darkdarkdark_ eyes are just deeper and open, so receptive and free and how Jade's _hardhardhard_ ice blue eyes warm and soften, just as receptive and free as his.

Her stomach sinks and her throat closes up, her legs are_ suddenly_ jello [not the good kind, either], they're weak and quivering, and it's _not_ from dancing around a stage in front of _billions of people._

No, it's from knowing that _even though_ Beck asked why they couldn't kiss [after her Mom interrupted them the first time] that he still _loved_ Jade, that she would _never_ be Jade, that even though she was [supposedly] perfect, sweet, shiny, happy Tori, Jade never had anything to worry about because Beck never looked at her like _that_.

Suddenly the memory of being _oh so close_ to Beck, of having his lips [lush and inviting] only centimeters away, was tainted. It was no longer a _moment_, something special, something that she could hold onto, a hope she could cling to, a wish upon a star.

It was _nothing_ because he still loved Jade, and she was just _there_. All the pieces had finally fallen into the right place for them to test the boundaries of their friendship, but they were shattered just as quickly, breaking into a thousand glittering pieces of what could have been, and now her heart was just as broken.

"Tor," Andre`'s smooth voice is in her ear and she tears her eyes away from the non-couple [right now, anyway] who seem to be [are] written in the stars and faces the warm eyes of her best friend, trying not to crumble.

"Yeah?" She asks, failing miserably to keep her voice from quivering.

He studies her critically, eyes flickering over every inch of her face, and she puts on her brightest smile, all 32 perfectly white teeth gleaming, raspberry heart-shaped mouth stretched wide, and he shakes his head; seeing right through her, like always.

He takes her hand and starts dragging her toward the backstage exit of the arena, but she won't go easy; her feet are planted firm, boots squeaking along the glossy floor. He holds her gaze over his shoulder, leveling with her, "Tell me you don't want cocoa, and I'll let go."

They're in this weird staring contest; his jaw ticks and so does hers, he raises a brow and so does she, when his lips purse, hers follow, but she can only hold out for so long because she just _hurts_. Because this isn't how it's supposed to go. She's the princess in the fairytale, Beck the handsome prince and Jade the wicked witch, and the prince never [ever] ends up with the witch; it's always the princess who steals his heart and they live happily ever after, and wasn't Hollywood built on fairytales and on dreams coming true?

"Is it the special cocoa, from Belgium?" She whispers, struggling to blink back the tears that have suddenly blurred her vision.

"You really gotta ask, girl? How you think I'd do you wrong and _not_ break out the special cocoa from Belgium and chizz for _you_?" Andre`'s smile, like always, is warm and she relents easily; not because of his smile, cause that would be wonky, but because of the special cocoa from Belgium, duh.

It tastes soooooooo good; rich and creamy, heavy with the glorious smoothness of chocolatechocolatechocolate, but [honestly] it's not enough to make Tori forget about what almost happened between her and Beck, and how [painfully] real it was. She's huddled on the couch, drowning in a purple hoodie and sweats, mug in hand, glasses on her face, and all traces of the glittering girl on the stage [from hours ago] are gone.

She's just another broken hearted teenage girl; mourning the loss of a boy who was never hers to mourn in the first place, and ugh, does she wish she could hate Beck. Or at least, you know, Jade. Cause what has Jade ever done for her? Besides, you know, give up her spot to perform on the Platinum Music Awards... Yeah. But still...UGH!

How many times she's banged her head against the back of the couch, she doesn't know, she just knows it's not nearly enough and probably [definitely] won't ever be enough.

Really, the banging's over, before it ever gets the chance to start because Andre`'s right there, stopping her before she, you know, gives herself a concussion and all.

"You best tell me what's got you all wonky in the head." His eyes are narrowed and threatening, but she doesn't believe him. He's too chill, too sweet, too happy go skippy, to ever be threatening. He's her safe place, the arms that will always catch her when she falls, her best friend that always knows just by looking at her when she needs cocoa from Belgium.

"And if I don't?" Briefly there's a flash of the sparkle in her big, doe eyes he's come to know, and he moves closer, reaching out to settle her against his chest.

"Just remember, Tori," He's teasing and light, minty breath tickling the skin of her ear, and _whoa_, was that _a shiver_ going through her? "I know that you like having your tummy tickled and these babies," He holds out his hands for her to see. "Are not just good for ticklin' the ivories, if you know what I'm sayin'."

"Pshaw." She dismisses, lips curving upwards. "Everyone likes having their tummy tickled, so you'd just be doing me a favor."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

She underestimated him because seconds later, she's [basically] screaming with laughter, legs thrashing everywhere, arms flailing in every direction and they're just a mess as they both tumble off the couch. They're breathing heavily; eyes locked in something that's [very] different than their weird staring contest from earlier, and her heart's suspended in her chest, and what the chizz is going on?

He pushes her glossy strands of deep brown hair behind her ear and says so softly, it's like he's singing in the breathy way he does when they harmonize on _Tell Me That You Love Me, _"You gonna tell me _why _you bein' all wonky and chizz? And _don't_ say you ain't. I _know _wonky when I see wonky; my Grandma's _a walkin' talkin' billboard_ for wonk."

She wants to lie, but let's face it, she's a horrible liar. Beck could see right through her act as the biggest gank to ever gank courtesy of Mason Thornsmith [wazz bag], and she knew – even though he didn't say anything – that when they were at the restaurant and she bugged out, that Andre` could see that she was nothing more than a big fat faker.

"Beck still loves Jade." She murmurs, heart in her throat and tears stinging her eyes.

"Dang," He curses, shaking his head, dreadlocks falling in front of his eyes and for whatever reason, she doesn't understand it, but there's an urge to brush them away, like he brushed her hair back.

"Yeah."

She can't curl back into a ball fast enough, because he's _right there_, stopping her. He's so solid and warm, holding her up in this way that silently says, he'll never let her fall. And has he _always_ been holding her like _that_? With every hug, every tug of her hand, and maybe even every glance in her direction with those _warmwarmwarmwarm_ eyes of his?

And her mind is going back to every moment they've ever shared – from the big show case to right now – and has it _always_ been like _this_? Her taking comfort from his every little gesture? And has she been wrong about the special cocoa from Belgium? That _it's_ always made her feel better when it was _really _him?

_Mind. Blown._

"You okay?" He's close enough that she can smell his cologne, crisp, clean and so inviting. She knows if she turns – just an inch to the left – she'll be pressed against him, that he'll be all she can see, feel, smell, and _holy chizz_, what is going on?

"You're not gonna start to _Freak the Freak Out _on me, are ya, Tor? Cause to be honest, you're scaring the wazz outta me right now, bein' all quiet and just starin' and chizz."

"Are you using song references because you know they're my weakness?" The little dimple [the one he _doesn't_ think is so super duper cute he can't stand it] peaks out, and he feels himself start to calm, cause a quiet Tori is just not right, man.

"What if I am?"

And they just fall into this easy rhythm, like a drummer keeping in perfect time with the beat, it's so effortless to be just _them_. And it's like all the pieces are _finally_ falling into place for them, like _this_ is how it was always supposed to be; Tori&Andre` Andre`&Tori, in perfect harmony.

They're lips are just inches apart, heads bending closer and closer, when she whispers, "Suddenly I can see what I didn't before."

The laugh that was in his throat is drowned by the feeling of her lips on his.

He tastes like the special cocoa from Belgium and _everything_ she's ever wanted, every wish upon a star she's ever made, every hope she's ever clung to, and yeah, _this_, is the only thing that's ever come close to how she feels when she makes it shine.

And it's all because he always knows [and always will know] when she needs the special cocoa from Belgium.

**soundtrack - " finally falling" by victoria justice and avan jogia; other song mentioned freak the freak out from the victorious special of the same name and what tori whispers to andre` before they kiss are lyrics to "finally falling."**


End file.
